How To Confront Fear – Part One

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I was watching and listening to a video about blogging today when I realised that something wasn’t right.   Abnormally, I was struggling to concentrate, my notes weren’t really concise – I wasn’t paying true attention to the video and learning from it.  I was doing ‘just to do’ rather than because I wanted to.  I was so grateful when my lunch break came along. I went out to get some fresh air to try and work out what was going on.  And then I realised; I was feeling fear, I was scared.

What is fear?  According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary it is; an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger, or according to the wonderful Urban Dictionary; Fear is the mind killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration.

I think these two quotes are perfect for eachother as the former describes what it is, but the latter explains how it feels.  The real issue is that no matter what it is, fear causes havoc in our lives unless we can learn how to master and face it.  Think a moment about what you have missed out on because you were too afraid of… (insert here – common examples are; failure, not being good enough, rejection, embarassment, being judged).

In my fear today – I was afraid of multiple things at once; failure and looking like an idiot, of not being ready for what I was trying to do, of not being good enough, of jumping above my station.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot doEleanor Roosevelt

FEAR: also known under the acronym of False Evidence Appearing Real. 

In learning to confront fear, in Part One I ask you to ask yourself one question – is it based on truth? 

This is what I was afraid of: failure and looking like an idiot, of not being ready for what I was trying to do, of not being good enough, of jumping above my station.  For each one, take it – and ask yourself if it is really based on truth.  When you have an answer, keep probing until you feel the fear dissipate.

Could I fail?  Absolutely.  Many times, over and over.  What then?  I would learn from it and grow.  I would try again or do something different.

Would I look like an idiot if I failed?  Only idiots themselves would judge me that way – I’m doing a good thing here.

Am I ready for what I want to do?  No, I’ve got tons to learn, and do to reach where I want to be,  but each step is a step in the right direction.

Am I good enough?  You always have been and always will be perfect right now.

Am I jumping above my station?  No stations exist, you will become what you decide to become.  If you dream little, you’ll get little in return.  If you dream big – you’ll get there.  Simple equation.

Questioning and facing my fears relieved them of their duty.  I realise that they are there to protect us, but there is no real danger right now, in fact it would be more dangerous for my own sanity if I didn’t carry on doing what I absolutely love doing.  That would be disastrous.  Stay posted for How To Confront Fear – Part Two.

Start a huge, foolish project like Noah. It makes absolutely no difference what people think of you – Rumi

Lauren

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Inspirational Videos: Never, Ever Give Up.

“Just because I can’t do it today doesn’t mean I’m not going to be able to do it some day

Arthur from DDP Yoga

Is impossible a familiar word to you?  Are your responses the following:

Run a marathon?  Impossible. 

Make money doing my dream hobby?  Impossible. 

Enjoy life again after the loss of a loved one?  Impossible.  Life don’t work that way honey, life is hard and painful… ain’t no time for dreams…

Is this you?

If so I suggest you watch this video and ban that word from your vocabulary now.  Arthur overcame his physical limits despite everyone telling him that it was impossible.  He turned this useless word into possible with incredible inner belief and Never Giving Up.

He fell over and over.  When you fall do you get back up or do you walk away?

If you know what you want, as Arthur says – Never Ever Give Up.

Lauren

Meet My Inspiration

20121028_164000“What drives you Lauren?”

“I don’t know really, it’s always been there.”

“But what pushes you to take risks, to really take action?”

“The Truth.  Once I know the Truth, I can’t go back.  Initially it’s just one lone thought, and I can push it down.  But then it will start to jump up and provoke me more and more, until the point when I cannot ignore it any longer.  It will drive me mental until I accept and act on it.

My fundamental driver is the Truth I learnt from what happened to my Mum.  She was only a few years older than I am now when everything was taken from her.  Now she can’t talk, walk or feed herself.  She can’t get on an aeroplane and go off to see the world.  She can’t tell me how she really feels or even hold a normal conversation.  She can’t just decide to go for a walk in nature.  And here I am, able to do anything I want – why wouldn’t I do it?”

My Mum lost almost everything 20 years ago.  Yet she is the happiest, most pure person I know.  It may seem to me and you that her pleasures are limited, but she enjoys each and every one of them.  Whether it’s watching the animals running around in the woods behind her home, seeing her two children and her grandchild grow, or a slice of chocolate cake.  She can barely do anything in life anymore, but she still has a drive for life – and her drive is me, my brother and my niece.  Even when she is in pain or feeling depressed, she beams a smile when I walk in the room, and barely ever complains about anything.

My Mum is my inspiration to do and want more.  Her presence makes me realise one of the fundamental Truths about being human, that in a few minutes, your world can be turned completely upside down. 

You may not be able to always control the negative, but most of the time you have the power to direct your life towards the positive.  So why wouldn’t you?  Will you wait for tragedy to force you to change?  Or will you wake up and realise all the opportunities you have right now, not in some imaginary futureright now.

I’ve just quit my day job because I have found my Truth in writing.  Now that I know this Truth, I cannot continue as before.  If I pushed my dream to the bottom of the list and didn’t pursue it now, I’d be constantly wondering “what if”.  My Mum’s presence has shown me that we only get one shot to make the most out of life and I choose to make it incredible by following my dreams.

Once you know your Truth about what you want or even what you don’t want – accept and act on it. The only time is Now.

Lauren

My Name Is Lauren

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My name is Lauren and I am an addict.

It’s been a tug of war all my life; I want it but I fear it, I love it but I hate it.

I’m here to say that it’s so strong now that I cannot resist any longer.

I wake up every day and need it, I drink it, I breathe it in, I smell it, I feel it, I am it. 

When I am away from it I miss it, when I am with it I am whole.

I am addicted, and if I try to walk away now, the taste of it will linger at the back of my tongue and taunt me every time I drink, the smell of it will hang around in certain corners of my room and I will breathe it in unbeknownst, the feel of it will be hidden between my sheets and awaken me from my rest.

Now I’ve found it, I can never let it go.

Nothing can come in the way of me and it.  It is me and it against the world.  Together we will conquer.

I cannot do things for the sake of doing anymore, when I am it I feel everything and time doesn’t exist, and when I am not it I feel numb and watch the seconds go by slowly.

I am not alive when it is not there, I am just walking towards death.

My name is Lauren and I am an addict and slave to writing and writing makes me an addict and slave to life.

I am life.

What are you addicted to?

Lauren

Are We Doing Enough?

If you don’t know how to fix it, then please stop breaking it.

Severn Suzuki

I have watched this video so many times.  This girl aged just 12 in 1992, was already fighting for what she believed in, and getting listened to by the people who make decisions for us – the major world leaders.  Did they listen?  Do you do enough to save our planet from being destroyed?  Do you think of your children’s future and that of your grandchildren?

Lauren